How do i gently tell someone that i can't afford to support their habit?

I lived on a fixed income. Thee reason I am able to get through the month is because I don't have expensive habits, like smoking. My neighbor is a dear friend, and i love her like a mom. She is also on a fixed income, and because she never had to buy anything or pay bills till her husband died, she needs major

I lived on a fixed income. Thee reason I am able to get through the month is because I don't have expensive habits, like smoking. My neighbor is a dear friend, and i love her like a mom. She is also on a fixed income, and because she never had to buy anything or pay bills till her husband died, she needs major help getting through the month. I have tried to help her budget like i do, but she has the added expense of to to 4 packs of cigarettes a day for her and her grandson who lives with her. Both receive disability. I buy things to get through the month till money comes again. This has never been an issue with me, as I have learned to live on a very tight budget. My problem is when she comes to me in tears, with no cigarettes and shaking saying she needs them. That happened this morning. I had money set aside for my dog's vet appointment. She knew about it, but begged me for cigarettes. It hurt me to see her like that, so i bought her the 4 packs she asked for, and this is after i bought her a pack last night. So 5 packs in less than 12 hours. This put me short of being able to pay my dog's vet bill, so i had to reschedule. I cant continue to do this every month. And I can't get her to stick to a budget cause her grandson makes demands on her finances like any teenager will who thinks money is unlimited. And yes, he is 17 and a 2 pack a day smoker. I buy her cigarettes and she lets him smoke them.

Best Answer:

Tender Heart: You are going to have to be gentle but firm, and explain to her, you simply can no longer afford this. If she breaks out in tears, turn your back and walk away.

Other answer:

Tender Heart:
4 packs a day is $25………a day… you are merely enabling her and her lazy grandson…
don't do it again…………that is ridiculous…
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Stan:
I'm sure you mean well, but this is not your problem.
Nicole:
don't tell her what your finances are like telling her you need to pay the vet and have the money to do it
simply tell her, tears and all that you simply cannot provide her anything any more especially cigarettes
if they are both on disability they have other places to get help but what they need is someone to restructure their living habits especially the smoking
this is not your problem, get out of it asap
tro:
don't tell her what your finances are like telling her you need to pay the vet and have the money to do it
simply tell her, tears and all that you simply cannot provide her anything any more especially cigarettes
if they are both on disability they have other places to get help but what they need is someone to restructure their living habits especially the smoking
this is NOT your problem, get out of it asap
HJW:
You do not have to be gentle, tell her no more.
Eva:
Just say it. You could have told her you can't afford 4 packs and gotten her 1. A 2 pack a day habit is extreme (and expensive). Medicaid recipients can receive free smoking cessation materials/drugs.
babyboomer1001:
How could you allow this woman's filthy, disgusting, poisonous habit take precedence over your own beloved pet? YOUR family comes first. That includes your pet. Further, that woman is an adult. It is "her" responsibility to budget her finances and her life. When she receives her next paycheck, ask her to reimburse you for the money you lent her for the cigarettes. Do not take no for an answer. After you get your money back, do not lend or give her any more money. NONE. Not even a dime. Tell her you are also on a fixed income and you haven't got any spare money. If she is a true friend, she will not ask for money anymore, especially for cigarettes. Too bad she doesn't have the brains/courage/common sense to ween herself off them.
Donald B:
You need tough love here. Invest in nicotine patches and do not give her any more money. Just remember that by helping her buy cigarettes you are shortening both her and her son's life.

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